


Super Swanky Space Buds™

by NotSoFamousNerd



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone's alive, Everyone's gay, F/F, Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Memes, Multi, Stormpilot, They're all young, Tumblr Memes, anakin still hates sand with a burning passion, desertrose, good vibes, groupchat, groupchat fic, high ground, literally my bad sense of humor on full display, obikin, skysolo, someone please save my soul from the burning fires of tumblr, this was literally inspired by my instagram groupchat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13283688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoFamousNerd/pseuds/NotSoFamousNerd
Summary: The Star Wars groupchat fic that literally no one asked for.. On the bright side. it's pretty gay





	1. A long time ago, in a gaylaxy far, far agay...

**Author's Note:**

> heyooooooo. so i'm back at it again with the text fics. so before you read, i want y'all to know that everyone in this story is basically in high school. so the skywalkers are pretty much all chill cousins c: i haven't slept in 48 hours and this is all i have to show for it... 
> 
> some username help:
> 
> lukewarm- Luke  
> cinnabun- Leia  
> sharpshooter- Han  
> itsnotaphase- Kylo  
> stressed ginger- Hux  
> reyofsunshine- Rey  
> mechanic girl- Rose  
> silver slay- Phasma  
> hoe- Poe  
> Fn kms- Finn  
> sandh8ter- Anakin  
> sadme- Padme  
> hellothere- Obi-Wan

reyofsunshine has added fn kms, hoe, lukewarm, cinnabun, sharpshooter, mechanic girl, silver slay, stressed ginger, and itsnotaphase to the chat !

reyofsunshine named the chat Super Swanky Space Buds

fn kms: kms

hoe: finn no.

fn kms: finn yes.

reyofsunshine: there will be absolutely no killing whatsoever in this chat

mechanic girl: not on my good christan server

reyofsunshine: oh dear god. enough with the memes rose

mechanic girl: i do what i want when i want tf

reyofsunshine: rose. you kept me up last night bc you wouldn't stop giggling at frogs

fn kms: wait. rose.  
fn kms: you never told me you were a memer

mechanic girl: i'm obviously a closet memer, finn

reyofsunshine: that's a double entendre

hoe: rey. we leave school and in less than 3 minutes, you start with this academic learny shit

reyofsunshine: i'm just stating facts !

lukewarm: what in the holy hell  
lukewarm: what is this  
lukewarm: what is the purpose of this

reyofsunshine: ayy lukeee

lukewarm: rey i'm so confused. why does this chat even exist.  
lukewarm: i literally just want to chill at home without having to worry about 72937199381719328 notifs from one chat

sharpshooter: calm down, kid. we've been added to a fun gc

cinnabun: yep. "fun" was the exact word i was thinking about

reyofsunshine: anyways, to answer luke's question, this is literally just a bullshit chat for the cool kids. 

lukewarm: then why did you add my emo ass cousin

reyofsunshine: finn said he would give me 5 dollars if i added kylo  
reyofsunshine: plus hux told me he'd give me 10 dollars if i added kylo

sharpshooter: wow

lukewarm: you stole the words right out of my mouth, han

sharpshooter: don't i always, babe ? ;)

hoe: wait.  
hoe: did i just witness that.  
hoe: did i just witness the words "babe" come out of han's mouth

fn kms: poe. this isn't a verbal conversation

hoe: idc man  
hoe: but did i just see the word "babe" come from han

sharpshooter: you act so surprised

lukewarm: we thought y'all already knew

sharpshooter: well, lukewarm. that "y'all" business is new

lukewarm: shut up. i was raised on a farm

cinnabun: no you weren't. we were raised as good people of the suburbans.

lukewarm: why do you betray me, my dear sister  
lukewarm: but getting back to the point, yeah. han and i are dating

cinnabun: more like passionately fucking

hoe: damn  
hoe: that was cold. even by leia standards

lukewarm: i came out here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked rn

sharpshooter: don't think you're the only one hurting after that harsh comment, kid

cinnabun: dudes. you guys literally go at it more than once a day

reyofsunshine: OK THAT'S ENOUGH. KEEP IT PG. THERE'S A PRECIOUS ROSE HERE

mechanic girl: i know how sex works

fn kms: jesus christ this is a shit show and a half

itsnotaphase: y'all are nasty tf  
itsnotaphase: especially my cousins over here fucking like bunnies

mechanic girl: ok. that's pretty nasty if you say it like that

silver slay: DISGUSTANG

stressed ginger: wtf. why is that the first thing you say in the chat, phas

silver slay: just bc

hoe: o h my god  
hoe: is silver slay "THE" phas

silver slay: wtf. i have a reputation?

hoe: yeah. as a b u l l y  
hoe: i'm going to report your ass to the bully box, bully you for being reported to the bully box, and then re-report you to the bully box.

fn kms: poe chill

silver slay: if this is abt me picking on finn during middle school, i humbly apologize 

fn kms: poe, i've already told you phas only made fun of me bc of this one stupid thing i said in class

reyofsunshine: wait i haven't heard this story yet

fn kms: ok well. one day. i was sitting in class with mr ackbar and he called on me to share the answer of some stupid math question  
fn kms: i wasn't paying attention to the lesson so i just said "2+2 is 4 minus 1 that's 3, quick math."

reyofsunshine: did you  
reyofsunshine: did you just recite lines from "man's not hot"

silver slay: that's why i made fun of him whoops

hoe: ...  
hoe: ok. that's pretty funny

itsnotaphase: i don't get it

stressed ginger: of course you don't. you're too busy listening to nickelback to get into real music

itsnotaphase: shut up. u used to be a fucking jake pauler

stressed ginger: you goddamned assface  
stressed ginger: guys i have a big announcement

itsnotaphase: you better not, u little shit

stressed ginger: kylo has a daddy kink

itsnotaphase: i'm going to fucking choke you

hoe: gettin a little kinky there. 

silver slay: utterly repulsed

reyofsunshine: dude daddy kinks are fucking weird

lukewarm: ....

cinnabun: you only have nothing to say bc you relate luke. 

reyofsunshine: what

sharpshooter: leia stop being salty

lukewarm: i.

lukewarm has left the chat

mechanic girl: oh no :c

sharpshooter: no ..kid.. come back

sharpshooter has invited lukewarm back to the chat !

lukewarm: fuck off han

sharpshooter: more like fuck on, han

itsnotaphase: ew.

stressed ginger: shut up, baby boy ren

cinnabun: what the fuck  
cinnabun: of all things to say, you called kylo a "baby boy"

stressed ginger: it's all i could think of !

itsnotaphase has left the chat

sharpshooter: well, weak comeback or not, it kicked that emo boy out of here

stressed ginger: he's not emo!  
stressed ginger: he's just misunderstood..

silver slay: i love how hux just switches personalities when kylo isn't around

mechanic girl: what do you mean by that ?

stressed ginger: pls no

silver slay: well. when kylo's around, hux acts like a complete dick to him and likes to talk shit in front of his face.  
silver slay: but if kylo's not around, he'll legit fawn over him and smother me with his "senpai ren" stories

reyofsunshine: holy shit  
reyofsunshine: senpai ren

reyofsunshine has invited itsnotaphase into the chat !

reyofsunshine has changed itsnotaphase's name to senpai ren !

senpai ren: what the fuck. why me  
senpai ren: what the fuck does senpai even mean

stressed ginger: PHASMA . YOU ASSHAT

silver slay: how would an asshat even work.  
silver slay: like would it be balanced on your ass or would it protrude out like a tail

mechanic girl: nice recovery

reyofsunshine: don't encourage her

mechanic girl: babe. you just changed kylo's name to senpai ren what the fucc.

hoe: HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE USE OF THE WORD BABE

fn kms: poe. wtf  
fn kms: even i knew they were dating

hoe: shit. i'm really bad at this, huh

fn kms: i should know.

lukewarm: oh shit  
lukewarm: expose his ass, finn

sharpshooter: you should know all about exposing your ass, lukewarm

cinnabun: dude stop exposing my brother in this gc

sharpshooter: leia, you legit were exposing luke 5 minutes ago

cinnabun: bc i'm his sister and i'm the only one who gets to expose my bro. not some random scoundrel like yourself

senpai ren: get him

stressed ginger: wtf. why do you support this

senpai ren: bc i don't like han

sharpshooter: wow. hurtful

lukewarm: can't argue with ren abt that

sharpshooter: wtf. kid, you too?

lukewarm: you can be a little bit too much sometimes..

reyofsunshine: wow this is one big gay mess.

cinnabun: tbh it is

reyofsunshine: hey, is it ok with yall if i add ani, padme, and obi wan?

sharpshooter: here we go with the "yall" business again.  
sharpshooter: but i've got no objections to that

reyofsunshine: alright.

hoe: wtf. only han said it was ok

reyofsunshine: well are you against them joining the gc?

hoe: no. they're cool asf

reyofsunshine: exactly.

reyofsunshine has added sandh8ter, sadme, and hellothere to the chat!

hellothere: what is this fresh hell in the morning

sadme: obi wan. it's literally 3 in the afternoon  
sadme: but seriously. what is "super swanky space buds"

reyofsunshine: it's our gc for the cool kids only.

sandh8ter: what

reyofsunshine: it's a big gay mess but i'm sure you'll all fit in.

hellothere: ...

sandh8ter: ...

mechanic girl: i love how obi's name is literally hellothere but the first thing he said in this gc was a meme

reyofsunshine: BABE. I TOLD YOU TO STOP WITH THE MEMES.

mechanic girl: you can't stop me, bih

silver slay: domestic abuse

stressed ginger: i'm filing a report right now.

hellothere: jesus christ, this looks like a nightmare and a half

fn kms: tell me about it.


	2. The thrilling saga continues...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for an even bigger shit show!
> 
> some username help:
> 
> lukewarm- Luke  
> cinnabun- Leia  
> sharpshooter- Han  
> senpai ren- Kylo  
> stressed ginger- Hux  
> reyofsunshine- Rey  
> mechanic girl- Rose  
> silver slay- Phasma  
> hoe- Poe  
> Fn kms- Finn  
> sandh8ter- Anakin  
> sadme- Padme  
> hellothere- Obi-Wan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what was going through my head as i wrote this.

sand h8ter: so guys, i've been thinking

hellothere: that's something you rarely do.

sand h8ter: shut up, high ground  
sand h8ter: anyways, where does sand come from

sadme: the earth

sand h8ter: no but like. how is sand made

hellothere: you're awfully curious about something you're passionately against

sand h8ter: i just want to know so i can destory it once and for all

senpai ren: wow i hate to admit it  
senpai ren: but that's edgier than i am

stressed ginger: no. you were being extra edgy today

silver slay: armie. please don't tell the gc the story

reyofsunshine: too late, you've sparked my interest

hoe: same.

stressed ginger: today, kylo was called "Ben" by our physics teacher and kylo legit stood up and made this weird emo sound effect and said "THAT'S NOT MY NAME. IT'S KYLO." and then he stormed out of the room. The teacher then asked me to go check on him since i'm his "best friend"

reyofsunshine: why did you put best friend in quotes

silver slay: shh the sexual tension is building up

stressed ginger: shut up, phas  
stressed ginger: anyways, so i go outside to check on him and he's literally just sitting outside the classroom with his headphones in  
stressed ginger: i was standing about 5 feet away and i could clearly hear that he was listening to "numb" by linkin park.

senpai ren: shut up. that song is a bop

stressed ginger: shut your emo ass up  
stressed ginger: so i sat next to him and legit poked him and asked him if he was alright

hoe: wow this is turning into some cheesy gay fanfic

reyofsunshine: let the stressed ginger speak !!

stressed ginger: so eventually kylo held my hand and looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me "armitage. you're the only person who calls me kylo and i appreciate you, man. no one understands me in my time of darkness"  
stressed ginger: idk why i didn't laugh at him then and there, but i legit felt really bad ? and special ?

fn kms: i agree with poe. this sounds like bad fanfiction

mechanic girl: lol and ur any better, finn

fn kms: what do you mean

mechanic girl: you and poe. 

hoe has left the chat

mechanic girl: legit poe just validated my point

reyofsunshine: how.

mechanic girl: when we first started dating, you'd always leave any type of groupchat when asked about us

reyofsunshine: ...  
reyofsunshine: fucc. you right

fn kms has added hoe to the chat !

reyofsunshine: wait armie. how did the story end tho?

stressed ginger: well i calmed him down enough for him to go back to class but he was a bitch to me for the rest of the day. god i fucking hate his pretty emo face

senpai ren: ...  
senpai ren: you do know that i'm in this chat, right?

stressed ginger: whoops! would you look at the time! gotta blast!

reyofsunshine: DON'T LEAVE THIS FUCKING CHAT, HUX

stressed ginger: ok you got it

stressed ginger has left the chat

reyofsunshine: that fucking dickface

mechanic girl: you tell him, babe

senpai ren: why are all of you gay

hoe: and you're not?

senpai ren: ...  
sepai ren: i'm str8, bois and grills

silver slay: tell that to your armitage hux shirne

senpai ren: you b i t c h

lukewarm: oops! you have been banned from club penguin for using a bad word!  
lukewarm: wait shit  
lukewarm: wrong chat

reyofsunshine: WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT MEANT FOR  
reyofsunshine: but tbh that's really fitting for our chat atm

lukewarm: han

cinnabun: please, tell us more, brother

senpai ren: so is no one going to talk about how armie just left the chat and how he likes my pretty emo face?

lukewarm has invited stressed ginger to chat!

lukewarm: now stop making it about yourself and listen to my damn explanation

cinnabun: you tell him, luke

lukewarm: so han and i were talking about things from our childhood and then all of the sudden, our conversation shifted towards club penguin.  
lukewarm: then han tells me about how he got emotional when he was 12 bc he got banned from club penguin because he said "ass" 

cinnabun: why did han get emotional? it's literally just a virtual world filled with penguins.

lukewarm: he got emotional bc he had 100+ friends, 42069 coins, and 5 puffles

cinnabun: holy shit  
cinnabun: i would get emotional too, damn  
cinnabun: those 5 puffles could've dug me some serious penguin coins

lukewarm: wtf. did no one play webkinz on this chat ??

reyofsunshin: webkinz was my actual shit

mechanic girl: wtf it was all about pet pet park for me

senpai ren: it's all about wizards 101. get with the program

stressed ginger: OF COURSE YOU'D LIKE WIZARDS 101!!

senpai ren: we were friends on wizard 101

stressed ginger: how could i forget, "Dark_wizard_blacksword_42069"

senpai ren: well your user was "general_armie"

silver slay: it's not as bad as fucking "dark_wizard_blacksword_42069"

hellothere: what are yall talking about

sadme: internet games from the 2000's

reyofsunshine: WAIT PADME. OBI.  
reyofsunshine: did yall play any

sadme: jesus christ. that's how i met ani

sand h8ter: stop.

reyofsunshine: no shit. which game?

sadme: ....webkinz....

reyofsunshine: HOW THE FUCK DID YALL MEET OVER FUCKIN WEBKINZ

sadme: well, ani sent me a friend request after we played one of those games together and we became frondos.  
sadme: and then i realized that he was that weird "kazoo kid" lookin ass who went to my school

reyofsunshine: kazoo kid

sand h8ter: rey. pls no

reyofsunshine has changed sand h8ter's name to kazoo kid

hellothere: heh.

kazoo kid: shut the f u c c up, high ground

hellothere: i think you mean "superior altitude"

sadme: this is the weirdest relationship dynamic i've ever fucking witnessed

senpai ren: fucking exposed.

hellothere: i'm not witg kazoo kid  
hellothere: utterly repulsed  
hellothere: why would i even  
hellothere: disgusting

kazoo kid: yeah. what he said

sadme: s t o p you guys are legit so gay for each other

hellothere: how so

sadme: you two always bicker and fight  
sadme: but everyone feels the sexual tension like 2810382801018283 miles away.

silver slay: hm. sounds familiar

stressed ginger: shut your ass, phas

silver slay: but words can't come out of my ass  
silver slay: plus, this isn't a verbal conversation

stressed ginger: i fucking hate all of you

senpai ren: except for my "pretty emo face"

stressed ginger: i hope you get your dick stuck in a goat

hoe: them's fighting words

lukewarm: i'm so glad my relationship isn't like that

sharpshooter: ......  
sharpshooter: wow. didn't know i was dating a fuckin liar

lukewarm: if you say another stupid quip like that, no sex for a week.

mechanic girl: this is a public chat...

reyofsunshine: don't taint my pure gf with your public displays of intercourse  
reyofsunshine: or pdi for short

mechanic girl: get them, babe!

cinnabun: u g h i'm embarassed to be related to lukewarm

lukewarm: oh i see how it is  
lukewarm: i can't believe my own sister likes to glue actual cinnabons to her head

sharpshooter: now, now, twins

lukewarm: stay the fuck outta this, han 

cinnabun: ^

hellothere: sibling banter at its finest

fn kms: what did i miss?

kazoo kid: actual hell


	3. not a pg rated chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stormpilot and skysolo is strong in this chapter. Mentions of sex but it's nothing too graphic, y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know where i was going when i wrote this chapter, but fuck it. it's supposed to not make sense bc it's a groupchat fic !
> 
> come scream at me over star wars on my instagram !   
> instagram: nasea.cos  
> \---
> 
> username help:  
> lukewarm-luke  
> cinnabun-leia  
> sharpshooter-han  
> senpai ren-kylo  
> stressed ginger- hux  
> sandh8ter-anakin  
> sadme-padme  
> hellothere-obi-wan  
> reyofsunshine-rey  
> hoe-poe  
> fn kms-finn

senpai ren: this is a dead fuckin chat.

mechanic girl: it's literally been an hour since people last used the chat.

senpai ren: yeah but that was just han and luke flirting with leia being salty in he background

mechanic girl: isn't that what you do ?

senpai ren: no. wtf.

mechanic girl: mhmmm, sure

mechanic girl has named the chat sexual tension !

reyofsunshine: why is the chat name sexual tension.

mechanic girl: ;)

reyofsunshine: i can't say no to that face

senpai ren: it's literally just an emoticon wtf  
senpai ren: it's not even a real face??

reyofsunshine: shut up, senpai ren  
reyofsunshine: speaking of, why is your user still senpai ren?

senpai ren: i got lazy to change it

reyofsunshine has changed senpai ren's name to emo loser

emo loser: where's the lie tho

stressed ginger: wtf. he's not emo !

stressed ginger has changed emo loser's name to kylo ren

kylo ren: thanks armie

stressed ginger: ew. 

reyofsunshine: jesus christ. the sexual tension is strong with these two

hoe: yall. something big just hapenned

mechanic girl: big ? ;)

reyofsunshine: rose, please.

hoe: finn and i...

mechanic girl: had sex

hoe: KISSED !!  
hoe: wA I T  
hoe: ITS TOO EARLY FOR THE PEEN IN THE ASS

mechanic girl: "peen in the ass" senior quote

hoe: s t o p

fn kms: all of yall need to chill  
fn kms: it was literally just a kiss.

\----  
conversation: reyofsunshine  
fn kms: HOLY SHIT I KISSED HIM AKDNWLD

reyofsunshine: lol congratulations. i'm proud you finally did it  
\---  
lukewarm: what did we miss

mechanic girl: "we"?

lukewarm: you know who i mean.

reyofsunshine: ah. nothing much, just poe obsessing over kissing my stud of a best friend.

sharpshooter: aw remember when we had our first kiss, luke?

lukewarm: we shouldn't mention that here

sharpshooter: what do you mean? our first kiss was pg !

lukewarm: well, are you talking about our first-first kiss or our "pg" rated first kiss?

kazoo kid: what the fuck  
kazoo kid: luke. you're meaning to tell me what i think you're telling me

sadme: i'm pretty sure that's not the case...

hellothere: unless it is the case

hoe: guys i'm so confused

fn kms: that's ironic how ur username is literally "hoe" and u don't pick up on what we're suggesting

mechanic girl: luke tell us the story, fam

lukewarm: it's not exactly pg rated.

reyofsunshine: if rose is curious, then it's okay to break the pg rules of this chat!

cinnabun: this group isn't fucking pg rated. wtf

lukewarm: u g h fine  
lukewarm: during freshman year, han and i were studying for this big exam in our engineering class. and at the time, i had mega huge feelings for him

sharpshooter: and i had a mega huge hard on for him

lukewarm: ew.  
lukewarm: anyways, we accidentally fucked.

cinnabun: "accidentally fucked"  
cinnabun: how the fuck do you have sex on accident  
cinnabun: did your ass fall on his dick by accident?

lukewarm: y'all wanted to hear the story and i told it as it is.

sharpshooter: nah. our first time wasn't an accident. despite anything that lukewarm says ;)

lukewarm: i can't believe i'm dating this hunk of garbage 

sharpshooter: ;)

kylo ren: relationship goals

stressed ginger: of course you'd say that

silver slay has changed stressed ginger's username to pining hard

pining hard: stop that !!!  
pining hard: fuck how do i change my username again.

kylo ren: lol

pining hard: you little emo shit. i changed your username !

kylo ren: but you can't remember how to change yours. ironic.

pining hard: fuck you, dude

pining hard has changed their name to pissed ginger

pissed ginger: i hope you get burned by the fires of hell

siler slay: more like the fire on your crotch

silver slay has changed pissed ginger's username to fire crotch

fire crotch has changed silver slay's username to i fapped to rey in middle school

reyofsunshine: wot

mechanic girl: you wot, m8

i fapped to rey in middle school has left the chat

fire crotch: she didn't deny it.

cinnabun: you guys are so fucking weird.

reyofsunshine: hey ! no swearing on my good pg rated christian server !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol idk   
> scream at me about star wars on my instagram ^^  
> instagram: nasea.cos


	4. An actual fucking mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I once wrote an entire sonnet about my depression. Iambic pentameter included"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. idk.   
> come scream at me on my instagram abt star wars   
> instagram: @nasea.cos

fire crotch has added i fapped to rey in middle school to the chat !

i fapped to rey in middle school has changed their name to hux is a lil bitch

fire crotch has changed their name to love you too, phas

kazoo kid: y'all. i can't focus on choking obi-wan with yall assaulting each other

sadme: say what now  
sadme: you ditched our chip night to abuse obi's windpipes ?

hellothere: i can explain

cinnabun: ^ sounds fucking familiar 

lukewarm: who are you applying that to?

cinnabun: are you fucking serious

sharpshooter: hey, lay off the kid  
sharpshooter: he's probably all shriveled up on the inside bc of all the salty shit you give him

cinnabun: luke's used to it.

lukewarm: she's right, han

sharpshooter: w o w

cinnabun: on the other hand, does anyone have Ms. Holdo for AP English Comp ??

reyofsunshine: yep. so does rose and kylo.

cinnabun: what did you write about for the creative sonnet assignment??

reyofsunshine: being gay

mechanic girl: ;)  
mechanic girl: i just wrote about Rey but I referenced the Dark Lady sonnets from Shakespeare

hoe: what.  
hoe: i'm legit in AP English Lit with Mr. Yoda and i never understand shakespeare when he reads aloud

fn kms: dude shakespeare is confusing already  
fn kms: but when mr yoda says "romeo, romeo, art thou wherefore?"

mechanic girl: jesus. that's fucking rough

kylo ren: once, i wrote an entire sonnet about how depressed i am  
kylo ren: iambic pentameter included

cinnabun: wtf. what grade did you get

kylo ren: i got an a+ bc ms holdo appreciated my shakespearian choice of vocabulary

love you too, phas: wtf, kylo  
love you too, phas: your poetry fuckin sucks

kylo ren has changed love you too, phas ' name to poetry h8ter

poetry h8ter: oh real mature, kylo.

kazoo kid: CAN YALL STOP CHANGING YOUR USERNAMES

kazoo kid: guys, let's try to be a normal chat and change our users to our normal names so i don't get confused

hellothere: ur just mad bc rey changed your name to kazoo kid.

kazoo kid: shut up, mr. "crush my windpipes, daddy"

mechanic girl: WHAT

reyofsunshine: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

hellothere: sooooo. usernames to be our normal names  
hellothere: what a swell idea

lukewarm: jesus christ, han. they're us but on roids.

sharpshooter: you can say that again, kid.

hellothere has changed their name to Obi-Wan

kazoo kid has changed their name to Anakin

sadme has changed their name to Padme

reyofsunshine has changed their name to Rey

poetry h8ter has changed their name to Hux

hux is a lil bitch has changed their name to Phasma

fn kms has changed their name to Finn

hoe has changed their name to Poe

cinnabun had changed their name to Leia

lukewarn has changed their name to Luke

sharpshooter has changed their name to Han

mechanic girl has changed their name to Rose

Rey: wow this is weird to look at  
Rey: everyone spam something so i can see our new gc

Luke: Han

Han: Luke

Leia: Fuckin disgusted

Kylo Ren: Iambic pentameter is my kink

Hux: Getting a Goodnight's rest is my kink

Poe: Finn is my kink

Finn: I don't think that's how it works..

Poe: shut up, and take my compliment, babe

Anakin: ^ oof relationship goals

Obi-Wan: not gonna ask what ani is implying

Padme: I still can't believe you ditched our lord and savior doritos to make Obi choke

Anakin: pAd. i said i was sorry !

Padme: too late, kazoo kid lookin ass

Obi-Wan: lol

Anakin: fuck you Obi.

Padme: oh, we all know you do, ani.

Leia: Padme, you are legit my favorite human being now

Luke: e w parallels

Rey: ... ok this is pretty ugly. let's switch it back  
\-------  
reyofsunshine: guys, what if we all did something extremely stupid together

stressed ginger: as in?

reyofsunshine: we all have to watch the room together

itsnotaphase: what's that

mechanic girl: it's the best movie to ever fucking exist ?? wtf ?? how do you not know ??

sand h8ter: tommy wiseau is a masterpiece

hellothere: anakin what the fuck

sand h8ter: but you're an even better masterpiece

hellothere has left the chat

sadme: i'm fucking dead. that's amazing  
sadme: i knew i could always count on obi

sand h8ter has added hellothere to the chat

hellothere: ..  
hellothere: why must you make me fucking suffer

sand h8ter: bc i love you

cinnabun: oh  
cinnabun: looks like the sand-choke couple beat my dear brother to the chase of professing their undying love for one another

lukewarm: leia are you high

cinnabun: i wish i was since i have to deal with all of you sorry asses

lukewarm: love you too, sis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fml i wish i was high too, leia


	5. Pavlov and Weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shit show continues !! and a certain jyn erso is added in the chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyy i didn't think this would actually get this much attention so i'd like to thank all of my super swanky readers! 
> 
> come scream at me over starwars on my insta!   
> @nasea.cos !

reyofsunshine: y'all. i know this is strictly designed as a chat for after school.. but i have an important announcement.

silver slay: and that is..?

reyofsunshine: rose's presentation in Mr. Tarkin's class

hoe: HAhAAAAA HoLY SHIT

mechanic girl: i trusted you, babe

fn kms: well excuse you. i don't happen to have mr tarkin for psych  
fn kms: but what hapenned

hoe: alright, get this. today, we had a presentation about pavlov and his dogs. and rose thought it'd be cool to say that pavlov was an animal abuser. and even called the dogs "bitches who didn't know any better"

mechanic girl: i still got an A   
mechanic girl: chrysler miracle

reyofsunshine: wait what. i thought you failed that shit

mechanic girl: nope

reyofsunshine: then why did he want to see you after class ?

mechanic girl: he wanted to praise me for having a new point of view.  
mechanic girl: but tbh i just bullshitted. i don't think pavlov abused his dogs lol

fn kms: you are one lucky woman.

mechanic girl: tell me about it. especially since i'm daring rey.

reyofsunshine: aw babe

cinnabun: ew pda

lukewarm: i bet you wouldn't be like this if you had a girlfriend of your own.

cinnabun: what no.  
cinnabun: i'm an independent woman!

lukewarm: mhm  
lukewarm: then who's jyn erso ?

cinnabun: !!!!  
cinnabun: you did not!!

lukewarm: chill. i only walked into your room to steal your pencils and saw a paper that read "wow i'm so gay for that super hot senior jyn erso"

cinnabun: i'm going to fucking kill you, helmet head

sharpshooter: over my dead body, leia.

lukewarm: don't do it! she'll kill ya dead !!

reyofsunshine: wait, jyn erso? senior?

cinnabun: ...yeah..

reyofsunshine: i have her skype. i can add her to the gc

cinnabun: NO

lukewarm: yes

sadme: yes

cinnabun: padme, why

sadme: as much as i love being salty with you, i feel like it's time for you to be happy, fam

reyofsunshine: then it's decided !

reyofsunshine has added Gin Cursed

gin cursed: what's good in the hood

cinnabun: mamma mia that's a spicy meatball

cinnabun has left the chat

gin cursed: was it something i said?

reyofsunshine has added cinnabun to the chat

lukewarm: suffer

cinnabun: fuck you, luke

lukewarn: love you too, sis

gin cursed: eyyyyy is cinnabun that junior cutie from my engineering class? 

cinnabun: there's a lot of cuties taking engineering though

gin cursed: i'm talking about the girl who always comes to class with tasteful buns in her hair

cinnabun: tasteful?

gin cursed: i haven't eaten all day. so i'm kind of on the hungry side

cinnabun: you should really eat..  
cinnabun: i can bring you some lunch tomorrow

gin cursed: how generous of you  
gin cursed: im literally too lazy for my own good

cinnabun: yeah same

sharpshooter: lol get a room !

lukewarm: han, shut up. let my sister be happy

gin cursed: lol leia, you wanna come over and smoke?

cinnabun: oh sure! sounds cool !

reyofsunshine: i thought leia didn't smoke

cinnabun: shutuprey

mechanic girl: yeah babe. shut up. let them be lesbians

silver slay: ^ i love a good gay romance

lukewarm: idk whether i should be happy or concerned

sharpshooter: why's that, kid?

lukewarm: leia's never picked up a blunt in her life. i'm scared she's gonna choke up when she hits it

gin cursed: don't worry, blondie. i'll take care of her

lukewarm: i better fuckin hope so

sharpshooter: are they  
shaprshooter: are they us but in lesbian form

lukewarm: they're lesbians, harold

reyofsunshine: oof i love this chat

kylo ren: i don't

stressed ginger: don't be salty. let people be happy

kylo ren: how about no

stressed ginger: oh i forgot  
stressed ginger: you weren't held enough as a child  
stressed ginger: so of course you wouldn't know how to be happy

kylo ren: lol ok

mechanic girl: this is domestic abuse

kylo ren: it's chill, rose  
kylo ren: we're dating so banter is ok

hoe: amazing justification  
hoe: this is almost as good as rose's presentation

lukewarm: is anyone worried about leia's lungs or is that just me?????

cinnabun: everything's chill. come over with ur bf so we can all have nutella sandwhiches

lukewarm: yep, she's definitely high

sharpshooter: well, it's what she wanted.

reyofsunshine: like i said, i love this chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean, leia did want to get high.


	6. Golly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i used the word "golly" so much in this chapter that it doesn't even look like a word anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'ALL PLEASE THANK @SCARY.GHOSTBOY (instagram) FOR THIS LOVELY CHAPTER. Luke saying "golly" is now my new favorite thing holy shit

cinnabun: last night was fucking killer

lukewarm: YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEX, DID YOU?!?

cinnabun: dude, i don't fuck on the first date like you do

sharpshooter: hey. he has a good taste in men.

cinnabun: sure. let's go with that.  
cinnabun: anyways, jyn and i smoked a lil and then we ordered 29 quarter pounders from mcdonalds. then we went back to her place and talked about puppies.

hoe: that's  
hoe: that's actually the cutest shit i've ever heard???

fn kms: damn. jyn must be loaded if she can order 29 quarter pounders

gin cursed: you have no idea buddy

lukewarm: i take it you spent the night at her house, too?

cinnabun: yep. she slept on the floor while i slept on the bed

sharpshooter: fuck.  
sharpshooter: we have to step up our game, luke...

lukewarm: i know..  
lukewarm: come over after class and we can cuddle

cinnabun: sounds good. i'm hanging with jyn after class so i won't be needing a ride

sharpshooter: SHE'S NOT BEING SALTY ???

lukewarm: well, what will you be riding IN?

gin cursed: my bike  
gin cursed: but don't worry, i'm extremely safety first  
gin cursed: gooooo safety !

cinnabun: i like safety a lot

lukewarm: kiss ass

cinnabun: i'll be kissing her actual ass soon enough

gin cursed: i'm not usually into butt stuff but for you, i'll make an exception

lukewarm: jesus christ, she's smoother than you, han.

sharpshooter: what the fuck  
sharpshooter: just who the fuck do you think you are, jyn

gin cursed: someone who's about to do butt stuff with ms tasteful buns over here

lukewarm: i don't need to know this...

cinnabun: now you know how i feel

sadme: i'm so happy for you, leia!  
sadme: you finally got yourself a gf!

gin cursed: whoa there  
gin cursed: we were only joking about the sex stuff  
gin cursed: but i want to take her to a dinner and a movie before doing anything serious 

sand h8ter: that's actually the cutest thing i've ever fucking witnessed

hellothere: anakin, shall we go on another date to celebrate leia's success?

sand h8ter: of course! where??

hellothere: i had a nice new spot in mind, i think you'd like it there!  
hellothere: it's the new junkyard on Mustafar Ave.

sand h8ter...  
sand h8ter: padme, you wanna be my girlfriend?

sadme: sure. fam

hellothere: baby, please. i was just joking

sand h8ter: too late  
sand h8ter: padme and i have already agreed to go to the new chips place at the mall in an hour

hellothere: w  
hellothere: they serve chips at the mall as an actual fucking meal

sadme: uhm excuse you, they serve different flavors of chips and you can get them in a super cool bowl

sand h8ter: and ur not invited bc ur not my bf anymore  
sand h8ter: and i'm no longer gay for you  
sand h8ter: i'm now straight for padme

reyofsunshine: what a rivering soap opera

hellothere: oh i see  
hellothere: i wonder if qui-gon's available then.

sand h8ter: WHAT THE FUCK  
sand h8ter: NO BABY IM SORRY. I DIDNT MEAN IT I LOVE YOU  
sand h8ter: PADME IM SORRY I HAVE TO BREAK UP WITH YOU

sadme: ok, fam

lukewarm: golly this is a headache

sharpshooter: babe no  
sharpshooter: we don't want to use the "g" word

reyofsunshine: what, golly?  
reyofsunshine: it's not a bad word  
reyofsunshine: i've just never heard luke say "golly" before  
reyofsunshine: does it happen on a daily basis

sharpshooter: i guess you can say that  
sharpshooter: he only says golly when i'm fucking him in the ass

fn kms: OMG  
fn kms: DOES THAT MEAN THAT LUKE JUST SAYS "GOLLY HAN. HARDER PLEASE"

hoe: OR "GOLLY! GOLLY! GOLLY! GOLLY!!"

silver slay: i picture something more like "GOLLY HAN YOU'RE SO BIG"

stressed ginger: "HAN. I'M CUMMING SO GOLLY HARD"

kylo ren: what the fuck is wrong with you guys

cinnabun: actually, what luke really does is that after they're done fucking, he snuggles up to han and says "Golly, han. you're so amazing. I love you so much. Golly, i'm such a lucky boy."  
cinnabun: but all of you guys were pretty accurate about the "gollys" when they're going super hard

lukewarm: this all hapenned bc han doesn't know how to shut his big mouth.

sharpshooter: last time i checked, you loved my big mouth.

lukewarm: ...

sharpshooter: you even said "golly, you give good blow jobs, han.."

lukewarm: "god, kid, i want you to call me daddy because you're such a good boy for daddy han"

sharpshooter: LUKE I'M SORRY

kylo ren: this is a dangerous fucking chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G O L L Y


	7. The chapter that discloses the established romances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> literally the chapter that explains each established relationship in the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting 2 chapters in a day bc i had amazing discourse abt star wars, y'all.

reyofsunshine: guys. we should do something special for the gc !  
reyofsunshine: we should ask all the couples how they got together and how long they've been together!

silver slay: that's not a bad idea. i've actually been curious myself

stressed ginger: i feel like luke and han didn't really meet each other through intercourse..

lukewarm: well, get ready for some intercourse discourse.

reyofsunshine: who should go first

mechanic girl: us ! but I want to present it and ace it like my Pavlov presentation

mechanic girl: rey is a bitch who doesn't know any better  
mechanic girl: and i mean that in the most romantic way possible

reyofsunshine: awww babe ! that was exactly like your pavlov presentation! i love it

mechanic girl: well, i love you

stressed ginger: that doesn't explain anything.

reyofsunshine: well, if you really want to know, rose and i met in Gym class with coach Windu.  
reyofsunshine: i thought rose looked cute and i kept staring at her until she finally made conversation with me  
reyofsunshine: we found out that we both had really similar interests and we started hanging out and it kind of went from there

silver slay: how long have you guys been together?

reyofsunshine: we're actually supposed to have our two year anniversary next week !

mechanic girl: oof i can't wait  
mechanic girl: i'm going to romance you with the power of memes

reyofsunshine: aaand the mood is ruined  
reyofsunshine: who's next?

sadme: i

sand h8ter: but aren't you single?

sadme: that's exactl my point  
sadme: i've been dating me, myself, and I for 17 years and i regret nothing

hellothere: commitment

sadme: now, are you going to tell the group abt your weird ass romance with kazoo kid?

hellothere: i'd rather not...

lukewarm: if you're worried it'll be something innapropriate, just remember all of the "golly's" that occured yesterday

hellothere: it's not that..  
hellothere: it's just that my relationship with anakin is weird

sand h8ter: we basically grew up together, he'd used to teach me how to do cool shit.  
sand h8ter: and then when puberty came along, we pretty much only fucked bc i wanted experience and whatnot. for a year, we pretty much were just friends with benefits but i had mad feelings for him

sadme: and then i came along and slapped him and told him to just tell obi how he felt

sandh8ter: and i did, we've been together officially for three years, now

hellothere: well, you didn't have to put it THAT way...

sandh8ter: well, i was being honest! you can't knock me for that!

kylo ren: u h, hux and i are pretty much the only other couple except for leia and jyn that hasn't had sex yet

lukewarm: wait what  
lukewarm: i thought you guys would already be done with 5 boxes of condoms by now.

stressed ginger: actually, believe it or not, kylo's a real gentleman  
stressed ginger: he asked me what i wanted to do with our relationship and i told him i wanted to take it slow  
stressed ginger: he has really good self control and he makes me really happy

kylo ren: you make me happy too

cinnabun: wtf. kylo is happy?  
cinnabun: the world is fucking ending

gin cursed: do i smell salt

cinnabun: no. that's just my personality 

gin cursed: i like it

reyofsunshine: hhh they're so cute wtf

hoe: i'm guessing it's our turn, huh?  
hoe: well, i've been crushing on finn since 4th grade

reyofsunshine: HOLY SHIT  
reyofsunshine: THAT'S A LONG TIME

hoe: I KNOW  
hoe: anyways, i didn't really accept my feelings towards him until 8th grade when he came out to me as bi  
hoe: i was so fuckin happy, y'all  
hoe: so finn and i would normally hang after school but a few weeks ago, he kissed me out of the blue and i announced it on the gc  
hoe: we started dating a few days after that but we haven't had sex yet  
hoe: SO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT, BEN

kylo ren: wait, rey

reyofsunshine: wot

kylo ren: have you and rose..?

reyofsunshine: we're waiting till we're legal, consenting adults!

mechanic girl: bc we're responsible teenagers !!!

sharpshooter: what

cinnabun: oh, han. just in time!  
cinnabun: why don't you talk about your relationship with my brother

sharpshooter: oh man  
sharpshooter: where do i even begin  
sharpshooter: so, after luke and i had sex, things were really awkward between us. mostly because we knew that we had strong feelings for each other, but it was just awkward bc we rushed into it  
sharpshooter: so after about a month after our first time, luke takes me aside after school and straight up tells me, "Han, I really really like you.. but golly, i don't know what to do with myself when i think about what we've already done.."  
sharpshooter: so then i just kiss him so he'd shut up and i asked him "are you still confused?" and he literally just looked at the floor and smiled.

lukewarm: then i asked him to be my boyfriend  
lukewarm: and here we are today ! we've been together for about 2 and a half years

cinnabun: oh  
cinnabun: i thought you two just fucked and started dating but holy shit  
cinnabun: luke why didn't you tell me this?

lukewarm: idk, you just assume a lot and it's hard to tell you some things.

cinnabun : oh, i see. i'm sorry about that

gin cursed: well, leia, we've known each other for a couple of days. so i was wondering..

reyofsunshine: pls just ask her out hnng

gin cursed: if you'd like to accompany me to mcdonald's and go back to my place to smoke again.

cinnabun: i wouldn't miss it for the world

mechanic girl: actually, if you really think about it, smoking and mcdonald's is a perfect date for leia

reyofsunshine: why's that, babe?

mechanic girl: bc leia's always super stressed so a smoke break every once in a while is cool. and mcdonalds is bomb.

kylo ren: mcdonald's sucks  
kylo ren: it's all about chick-fil-a

stressed ginger: no, in-n-out

lukewarm: arby's

sharpshooter: ^

hoe: wendy's

fn kms: burger king

sandh8ter: but guys... you're missing the most important one..  
sandh8ter: CARLS JR

hellothere: no, anakin. jack in the box is better

sadme: taco bell all the way

silver slay: what about the pizza places

reyofsunshine: BC PIZZA'S NOT SMTH YOU CAN ALWAYS CRAVE

silver slay: YES IT IS WTF  
silver slay: I CANNOT BELIEVE I FAPPED TO YOU IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

stressed ginger: and the truth finally comes out, I love it

kylo ren: i came out for you. do you love me ?

stressed ginger: ...yes kylo. i love you very dearly..

kylo ren: <3

cinnabun: no

reyofsunshine: AAAaaaAAAA

mechanic girl: THE WORLD IS ENDING

hoe: KYLO USED A HEART SKXNSODND

reyofsunshine: THIS IS A CURSED CHATATT

lukewarm: this is a GAY chat, get it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cursed.


	8. A New Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this entire chapter is basically self indulgent jynleia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all. what is the actual ship name for jyn and leia. also, please let me know in the comment box what you'd like to see next and some solid memes would be amazing as well

conversation: gin cursed and leia

gin cursed: leia  
gin cursed: leeeeeiiiiiaaaaaaa

cinnabun: mhm?

gin cursed: come over tonight

cinnabun: idk, i have a lot of homework to do tonight.. plus, i have to fill out my college apps.

gin cursed: you work yourself too hard  
gin cursed: you sound like you need a well-deserved break

cinnabun: i mean, i haven't come over in a while. and you haven't been active on the gc..

gin cursed: i mean, if you want to finish everything up, that's ok

cinnabun: ugh  
cinnabun: stop using mind control on me  
cinnabun: now i want to see you and do cute things with you

gin cursed: oh? was i able to sway your mind ?

cinnabun: hook, line, and sinker  
cinnabun: i'll be there in fifteen minutes.  
\------  
conversation: cinnabun and lukewarm

cinnabun: LUKE. I'M FREAKING OUT  
cinnabun: JYN AND I ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED  
cinnabun: AND I LIKE HER SO FUCKING MUCH  
cinnabun: BUT I CAN'T BE HER GIRLFRIEND.

lukewarm: leia.  
lukewarm: slow it down.  
lukewarm: what happened ? tell me everything

cinnabun: well, i slept over at jyn's place yesterday bc jyn wanted to help get my mind off of stress and let me relax. so it was about 3 a.m and we were both in the mood so it accidentally hapenned. and then she started talking about how she wants me to be her girlfriend. but i said no..

lukewarm: leia, i know for a fucking fact that you want jyn erso more than anything right now.  
lukewarm: just say yes. nothing's holding you back.

cinnabun: it's not that simple, luke  
cinnabun: she's a senior and i'm just a junior  
cinnabun: she should be with another, even cooler senior.  
cinnabun: besides, she's going to be 18 in a month so there's no point in trying to start something  
cinnabun: she'll just end up going to college super far away and i'll be stuck in high school while she smokes and makes out with an even cooler girl than me

lukewarm: wow.  
lukewarm: you never act like this towards anybody else.  
lukewarm: you must really like her if you think about it this much  
lukewarm: but why did you let the whole accidental sex happen? isn't that what's going to hurt the most if she supposedly "leaves" ?

cinnabun: i can't help it, luke..  
cinnabun: i'm so attracted to jyn that i forget all of my worries when she's with me  
cinnabun: but when she's away, all i can do is worry about how we'll be in the next year

lukewarm: well, have you talked to her?

cinnabun: no. i don't even know how to approach the subject with her..

lukewarm: has she told you how she feels?

cinnabun: on multiple occasions, she'd flirt and ask about scenarios that would happen if i were her girlfriend  
cinnabun: she kisses me a lot too..

lukewarm: well, it's been about 2 months since y'all formally met.. so why not take a chance on jyn and just talk this out  
lukewarm: i know you. and i know you would regret it if you passed up on the oppurtunity of talking to jyn

cinnabun: shit..  
cinnabun: you're absolutely fucking right  
cinnabun: why are you so good at love advice ?

lukewarm: bc of my 2 years of experience with han

cinnabun: ah well, wish me luck, dude..  
\----  
conversation: gin cursed and cinnabun

cinnabun: jyn.. do you have a minute?

gin cursed: of course, i always have time for you

cinnabun: so, what happened last night  
cinnabun: what was that..?

gin cursed: serious attraction  
gin cursed: i'm sorry, did i force it too much?

cinnabun: no. i'm just confused

gin cursed: why, love?

cinnabun: i really really like you and i want you to be my girlfriend but you're going to graduate in a few months and i'm not cool enough to be called your girlfriend

gin cursed: love, what are you talking about?  
gin cursed: i'm being held back a year bc i fucked everything up in my first 2 years of high school  
gin cursed: plus, i don't turn eighteen until later on in the year  
gin cursed: but other than that, you're so much better than cool enough to be my girlfriend  
gin cursed: you're a fucking miracle, leia organa

cinnabun: shit..   
cinnabun: just ask me out already, jyn

gin cursed: as you wish  
gin cursed: leia organa, will you do me the honor of making me the happiest woman alive and become my first girlfriend?

cinnabun: FIRST?!  
cinnabun: i thought i was going to be your tenth!

gin cursed: i've had my eye on you for a few years, now

cinnabun: so you reserved everything for me?

gin cursed: and what if i said yes?

cinnabun: i'm going to come over to slap you and then kiss you

gin cursed: i'm guessing that's a "yes" from the receiving party to be my girlfriend?

cinnabun: yes, now come over so i can slap and kiss you

gin cursed: sounds kinky

cinnabun: jyn, i swear to god...  
\----  
conversation: super swanky space buds

lukewarm has renamed the chat congrats jynleia!

sharpshooter: what's a jynleia

lukewarm: a new budding romance on this groupchat

reyofsunshine: congratulations !

mechanic girl: congratulations, you too !  
\---  
conversation: mechanic girl and reyofsunshine 

mechanic girl: babe. we'll always be the best lesbians around, right?

reyofsunshine: from this point on, i really don't know, babe..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... jynleia, am i right, folks?


	9. *Auto Correct, motherfuckers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> auto correct fucking sucks, y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, so i've been wanting to attach some artwork to this gc to match the images i'm describing. if interested, feel free to leave something in the comments or DM me on my instagram c:
> 
> instagram: @nasea.cos

fn kms: hey guys  
fn kms: have you guys ever heard of bangs

mechanic girl: what the fuck  
mechanic girl: whom the fuck do you think ur speaking to?

fn kms: well poe and i were out shopping and then we stumbled upon these fake bangs while looking for poe's hair supplies  
fn kms: so he decided to clip them on me and this was the result...

fn kms has sent an image

mechanic girl: JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST  
mechanic girl: THAT'S FUCKING MAJESTIC.

reyofsunshine: i literally wake up from a nap to see this  
reyofsunshine: bUT HOLY HELL THAT'S A FUCKING LOOK WHAT THE FUCK

stressed ginger: oh my hell  
stressed ginger: i'm single now

itsnotaphase: hux, you're joking  
itsnotaphase: please tell me you're joking

stressed ginger: of course i'm joking, you emo weirdo  
stressed ginger: it's just an extremely weird sight to see finn donning clip-on bangs

hoe: there's more

hoe sent 3 images to the chat

itsnotaphase : holy shit  
itsnotaphase : why do neon pink clip on bangs exist.

stressed ginger: i know what i'm getting you for our anniversary

itsnotaphase: babe, please don't..

stressed ginger: c:

silver slay: that's an evil little ginger smile right there

stressed ginger: phas where in the fresh hell have you been???

silver slay: trying to get with girls wtf. where do you think i've been  
silver slay: jk. i've been trying to do school without actually wanting to fucking kill myself

stressed ginger: relatable

cinnabun: aren't y'all sophomores, tho?

silver slay: tbh being a sophomore fucking sucks  
silver slay: you're no longer a freshman and sophomore year is literally that one in-between year before junior and senior year  
silver slay: there's literally nothing fun going on for sophomores

reyofsunshine: phas has a great point there.

mechanic girl: tbh i hated sophonore year with a passion bc there was literally nothing to look forward to.  
mechanic girl: you don't really fit in at the dances like homecoming or winter formal bc they feel strictly reserved for juniors and seniors.

silver slay: but freshman and junior year suck too  
silver slay: but sophomore year sucked the most bc i dealt with bullies

hoe: bully is my trigger word  
hoe: tell me who to report to the bully box

silver slay: poe it's all good

fn kms: what did they even bully you for?

silver slay: for liking the poos

fn kms: phas, you gotta be a bit more clear

silver slay: "pussy lickin' good"

mechanic girl: hah she said "pussy"

reyofsunshine: babe pls. not in pubic  
reyofsunshine: *PUBLIC

hoe: nastay  
hoe: but still, that's fucked up, phas  
hoe: but who were they..?

silver slay: aha. this is the weird part  
silver slay: so it was mostly unamo but uh  
siler slay: after a while she stopped and started flirting with me   
silver slay: it's been 5 months since she's started flirting

hoe: sexual harrassment= bullying  
hoe: unamo, be ready to get your ass whipped by fucking Principal Binks

fn kms: babe, jar jar isn't the principal  
fn kms: jar jar is that one kid who everyone hates

itsnotaphase: ... i think he's cool....

stressed ginger: you fucking moron  
stressed ginger: i should have known by now  
stressed ginger: you only hang around people with lower iq levels to match your own

silver slay: uh hux?  
silver slay: you kind of just insulted yourself right there..

stressed ginger: hey. just whose side are you on, young lady?

hoe: but seriously, phas. i can legit go report unamo

silver slay: no please dont  
silver slay: it's literally the only reason why i have self esteem

sandh8ter: fucking same.

fn kms: are we just going to ignore the fact that poe was legitimately about to report this shit to the bully box..?

reyofsunshine: i don't want to ignore that  
reyofsunshine: i can literally imagine poe stomping into the principal's office yelling "WHERE'S THE BULLY BOX. I'M ABOUT TO REPORT SOME STUPID BULLY."

mechanic girl: no. poe would say something more along the lines of..   
mechanic girl: “I BULLY THE BULLY, BITCH.”

Reyofsunshine: oh shit that’s a better one, babe

Mechanic girl: I know so, babe

Fn kms: lol remember when Poe literally wanted to fight phas bc she made fun of me

Hoe: BABE. THAT’S BC I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE MAN’S NOT HOT PART

Fn kms: exactly

Silver slay: I’m so glad we’re cool now.  
Silver slay: legit, poe and I sent the same meme for about 3 hours one day

Hoe: god, I love phas and her memes

Fn kms: but  
Fn kms: but she literally only sends you ONE meme?

Hoe: it’s still a masterpiece  
Hoe: let me live, daddy  
Hoe: *FINN

Lukewarm: I need fuckin eye bleach

Sharpshooter: kid, no  
Sharpshooter: if you do that, then how would you gaze upon my graceful face?

Lukewarm: I want a divorce.

Cinnabun: whoa whoa whoa luke  
Cinnabun: just what do you think you’re doing stealing my saltiness like that.

Sharpshooter: I mean..  
Sharpshooter: he IS your brother..

Gin cursed: ^

Sharpshooter: what’s good, lesbian me?

Gin cursed: lol everything  
Gin cursed: what about you, gay male me?

Sharpshooter: pretty swell

Lukewarm: this looks like a headache

Cinnabun: tell me about it.

Hellothere: but you guys deal with those two pretty much every day?

Cinnabun: oh please, Obi.  
Cinnabun: you have to deal with the BIGGEST headache in the actual fucking galaxy.  
Sandh8ter: I’m active on this chat, y’know.

Cinnabun: k

Lukewarm: ^

Sandh8ter: I feel so betrayed

Hellothere: Hey Anakin, how about we go to the beach ? 

Sandh8ter: obi, it’s fall and my toes are already colder than the frozen fjords of Iceland.  
Sandh8ter: why would you even suggest something like that

Hellothere: so I can bury you in the fucking SAND and leave you there

Sadme: I volunteer to help

Sandh8ter: SAND IS MY TRIGGER WORD  
Sandh8ter: you don’t understand me  
Sandh8ter: you never understand me  
Sandh8ter: no one will ever understand me

Itsnotaphase: I do, Anakin.. I do..

Cinnabun: only proving my point further.

Fn kms: hey, so uh, guys..?  
Fn kms: so we kind of got a dog..?  
Fn kms: Poe and I were legit out shopping earlier while we were texting in the gc but we stopped by the pet store before leaving the mall and saw this adorable little beagle  
Fn kms: poe instantly bought it but we couldn’t think of a name so we called him BB.

Mechanic girl: why bb?

Fn kms: well, it was a cute name  
Fn kms: and bc it’s number on the display was BB-8

Fn kms has sent an image

Fn kms: here’s a picture of the little guy.

Reyofsunshine: WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR DOGGIESITTING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, please dm me if you're interested in doing artwork for the gc c: suggestions on this fic are appreaciated !!


	10. short yet cringy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i've stopped trying to defend myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can i get a uhhhhh cowriter? if you're interested in also writing and being a part of the creation of this majestic gift to our lord and savior gonk droid, then please hit me up on my instagram 
> 
> instagram: @nasea.cos

stressed ginger: i have a great idea

silver slay: oh no..

stressed ginger: let's all make this chat as cringy as we possibly can for ONE day

reyofsunshine: why would we want to do that  
reyofsunshine: why would we NEED to do that?  
reyofsunshine: this gc is legit super cringy as is

stressed ginger: why not make it cringier

silver slay: i mean, this chat is pretty dead meme wise  
silver slay: y'all just talk abt fucking  
silver slay: i want my funnies back.

sadme: that's  
sadme: actually not a terrible idea

hellothere: pad. why?

sadme: even i have limits about how much angry gays i can consume daily

cinnabun: you will always be my favorite, pad

gin cursed: babe :( what about me??

cinnabun: you'll work your way up there

gin cursed: wow babe  
gin cursed: that fucking hurt

gin cursed has changed sadme's name to maxi-pad

maxi-pad: it's abt time someone made that joke

gin: wtf that was supposed to be an insult

maxi-pad: i mean. i AM a pad  
maxi-pad: a GAY pad  
maxi-pad: i literally only absorb the gayness of what we know as "obikin"

sandh8ter: excuse you  
sandh8ter: i prefer the name "aniwan"

hellothere: wtf. ur not a fuckin top  
hellothere: ur the whiniest bottom to ever fucken exist

stressed ginger: this is not what i meant when i said i wanted a cringy chat...

reyofsunshine: we should all change our usernames to something cringy tho

mechanic girl: k

mechanix girl has changed their name to Jake Pauler 4 lyfe

reyofsunshine has changed their name to Logang 5evah

itsnotaphase has changed their name to yaoifan69

stressed ginger: OH MY GOD  
stressed ginger: KYLO

yaoifan69: you called?

lukewarm has changed his name to 80's hentai lover

sharpshooter: luke what the fu ck  
sharpshooter: is that why i found vintage hentai tapes under the bed

80's hentai lover: i decline to answer that

cinnabun: fucking disgusting

gin cursed: yeah. leave my pure girlfriend out of this  
gin cursed: she doesn't know what sex is or how it works

cinnabun: binch  
cinnabun: YOU are literally the one who TOOK my virginity

hoe: aw that's sweet

fn kms: excuse you, we practice abstinence over here

fn kms has changed their name to ABSTINENCE 

hoe has changed their name to "ABS"tinence

"ABS"tinence: matching couple usernames !

ABSTINENCE: ok babe

Jake Pauler 4 lyfe: it's everyday bro with that disney channel flow

Logang 5 ever: ugh. we're over, babe

Jake Pauler 4 lyfe: *holding a fidget spinner* but babe..? w-we were d-doing so good..?

Logang 5 ever: DId I FUCKING STUTTER *turns away from you in angery* 

Jake Pauler 4 lyfe: b-babe...

Logang 5 ever: I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU EVEE AGAIN. I CANT BELIEVE YOU'D WANT TO INVOLVE OUR CHIBI CHILDREN IN YOUR DANGEROUS JAKE PAUL GAME

yaoifan69: my kind of content

maxi-pad: AGAIN  
maxi-pad: I'M ABSORBING GAY CONTENT

stressed ginger: agaiN.   
stressed ginger: NOT WHAT I MEANT BY CRINGY WHAT THE ACTUAL F U C K I N G H E LL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is all for you, gonk-droid-kun


	11. jar jar binch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meesa jar jar binks ! itsa very nice to meetsa yousa!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'ALL. say hello to our new author of Super Swanky Space Buds: beautifulboimckinley c: oof i'm so happy to have co-writer on this work bc i literally can't update on time anymore bc of school. so please be nice to them and enjoy c:

yaoifan69: hi guys

reyofsunshine: why the fuck is ur username still "yaoifan"

yaoifan69: dude. i'm fucking lazy as shit. leave me alone

reyofsunshine: ok well, the rest of us had the decency to change our names to smth respectable

maxi-pad: greetings. did you ring, youngling?

hellothere: ugh pad, why

maxi-pad: i'm legit so done with you and anakin being mushy  
maxi-pad: JUST FUCK

sandh8ter: uh..   
sandh8ter: padme, that's not how it works..

maxi-pad: resolve your sexual tension or i will

sandh8ter: padme that sounds disgusting

maxi-pad: you forced my hand, anakin.

maxi-pad has added meesa jar jar binks

meesa jar jar binks: boyos! 

hellothere: get the fuck out

meesa jar jar binks: you mooey mooey meanie!

sandh8ter: padme  
sandh8ter: you fuckin binch

maxi-pad has changed their name to amidone with ur shit

amidone with ur shit: fuck you, anacry

hellothere: now, now. let's not resort to verbal abuse

meesa jar jar binks: oh no!

hellothere: listen up here, you little fuck.

meesa jar jar binks: :(((((((((

stressed ginger: excuse me  
stressed ginger: whomstve the fuck are you

meesa jar jar binks: meesa jar jar binks!  
meesa jar jar binks: but you boyos are mooey mooey meansies!  
meesa jar jar binks: okey day bye now!

meesa jar jar binks has left the chat

hellothere: nobody fucking add him back

reyofsunshine has added meesa jar jar binks

lukewarm: i can't deal with this wtf

hellothere: rey. i swear  
hellothere: i will hit you where the sun don't shine

reyofsunshine has banned meesa jar jar binks from the chat permanently

hellothere: that's better

sandh8ter: all gungans are banned from this chat permanently

fn kms: i thought this chat was for cool kids only??  
fn kms: why did padme add him just to UNadd him????

amidone with ur shit: to spite anacry over here

hellothere: but still  
hellothere: the entire gungan race is a mistake  
hellothere: i'm so glad they're all in the Naboo school system

amidone with ur shit: binch  
amidone with ur shit: my homeschool is fucking Naboo Private

hellothere: then why the fuck are you at Lucas High.

amidone with ur shit: mom and dad wanted to save their actual money for my college career

hellothere: smart

sandh8ter: lol i'm not going to college  
sandh8ter: colleges is for chumps like padme

amidone with ur shit: i guess i'll be seeing your ass working the register at mcdonald's while i order in the drive thru in my new bentley

sandh8ter: fucc u

hellothere: ENOUGH!  
hellothere: YOU TWO ARE ACTUAL CHILDREN  
hellothere: I'M SICK OF IT

sandh8ter: oh shit

amidone with ur shit: my bad

sandh8ter: i'm really sorry, pad. i love you and i would never do anything to hurt your feelings

amidone with ur shit: it's ok ani  
amidone with ur shit: sorry, obi

lukewarm: fuckin jedi mind tricks

cinnabun: stop talking abt your weird internet cult, luke

lukewarm: so what if the jedi temple is an internet cult?!  
lukewarm: they spread the message of peace and balance!

sandh8ter: ugh that's absolute bullshit fam  
sandh8ter: i see through the lies of the jedi through my crystal pepsi

amidone with ur shit: is that why you never get in trouble with Principal Palpatine? 

sandh8ter: wot

amidone with ur shit: Palpatine is a sith supporter fam

sandh8ter: the sith cult are literal satanists when it comes to the Force churches..

hoe: I LITERALLY DID NOT COME ONTO THIS CHAT TO READ ABT FUCKINF RELIGION

mechanic girl: wtf poe  
mechanic girl: but we're all children of god here

reyofsunshine: KUUUUUUMBAYAAAAA

yaoifan69: i leave to watch junjou romantica and this is what i come back to  
yaoifan69: fucking disgraceful  
yaoifan69: i can't even watch my japanese gays in peace smh

yaoifan69 has left the chat

stressed ginger: nobody add him back in

reyofsunshine has added meesa jar jar binks to the chat

hellothere: i'm going to fucking force choke myself to death

hoe: AGAIN. ENOUGH WITH YOUR TUMBLR RELIGIONS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i mention that jar jar was my daddy along with bob duncan


	12. how to ban a gungan from your classy chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gungans are a mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa thank you all sm for your support !
> 
> scream at me on my insta!  
> instagram: nasea.cos

fn kms: why is jar jar still in the chat  
fn kms: wasn't he banned permanently...?

hellothere: I'M FUCKING TELLING YOU  
hellothere: IT'S CUNT-GAN MAGIC

meesa jar jar binks: :cccccc

amidone with ur shit: a gungan cannot be banned permanently unless said gungan dies or is banned by someone of high authority

sandh8ter: well, we can just ask principal sheev

sadme: fuck palpadick.  
sadme: does anyone have qui-gon's skype?

reyofsunshine: and what qualifies qui for the job??

sandh8ter: he looks like jesus  
sandh8ter: and to some, that's the highest figure

hoe: stop talking about religion 

hellothere: funny that you say that qui looks like jesus

hellothere has added space jesus to the chat!

hellothere: bc he literally calls himself the jesus of space

sadme: what the fcuck

space jesus: hi guys  
space jesus: have you guys seen my fidget spinner anywhere

reyofsunshine: i am interested in this space jesus religion

hoe: oh my fuck.

fn kms: beeb. calm tf down

hellothere: qui wtf that's the 5th spinner you've lost this month

space jesus: obi. please.  
space jesus: this is a dire situation

hellothere: you probs left it in your locker again

space jesus: ..  
space jesus: why didn't i think abt that

sandh8ter: first of all  
sandh8ter: why do you worry abt a fidget spinner

space jesus: bc that jake paul guy looks super hip and cool

mechanic girl: "hip"

sadme: bUT GUYS. HAVE WE FORGOTTEN WHY WE ADDED qUI IN THE FIRST PLACE

meesa jar jar binks: ??????

hellothere: ah yes how could i forget the biggest mistake ever made

yaoifan69: guys, ur bullying a defenseless dude

hellothere: jar jar is against weaboos and yaoi

yaoifan69: sooo biggest loser in the entire world award goes to the gungan

meesa jar jar binks: meesa wantsa to leavesa!

hellothere: i strongly suggest we kill him to ban him permanently

space jesus: well. isn't he the reason why you added me to the chat?  
space jesus: i can literally ban him..

hellothere: pls. i'm suffering as is with anakin 

sandh8ter: babe :(

hellothere: fuck outta here, swooshy hair

space jesus: pad, how do you deal with this on a daily basis

sadme: what can i say?  
sadme: i was born to be both the best wingman and the best third wheel

hellothere: i'm sorry pad

sandh8ter: ^

sadme: fam, if ur going to apologize, write it out

sandh8ter: soz, fam

sadme: this is why obi wan leaves you on read

fn kms: WHATWHATWHAT

hoe: IM CALLING THE FUCKING COPS  
hoe: I JUST WITNESSED A MURDER  
hoe: RIP IN PEACE ANAKIN

yaoifan69: oof good shit

stressed ginger: i love you, obi. ur my idol

silver slay: hux ur super romantic with kylo tf

stressed ginger: N o ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT SHDJEND

meesa jar jar binks: :)))))) lovesa!

hellothere: q u i help us  
hellothere: it's still here hnn

space jesus has banned meesa jar jar binks from the chat permanently. 

hellothere: oh thank god.

space jesus: yall that was easy as hell.  
space jesus: u couldve just banned him urselves

hellothere: its n o t that easy !  
hellothere: i was abt to kill him

space jesus: lol are there laws in place for this???

hellothere: ya.  
hellothere: to permanently ban a gungan from a chat you either have to kill it or have someone of high ground status to remove them

space jesus: oh lol  
space jesus: i would've killed him. just sayin

reyofsunshine: b UT UR SPACE JESUS.  
reyofsunshine: YOU CANT MURDER ANYBODY WTF

sadme: he murders spiders and cockroaches when i get scared of them

reyofsunshine: well.. that's an exception  
reyofsunshine: bugs are evil...

mechanic girl: babe. YOURE the evil one !!  
mechanic girl: YOURE THE ONE WHO MAKES ME KILL THE INSECTS WHENEVER WE'RE TOGETHER

hoe: divorce her, rose  
hoe: u deserve better

mechanic girl: i do  
mechanic girl: i'm leaving ur ass, rey

stressed ginger: didn't they just try to fake break up last time..?

yaoifan69: shh

stressed ginger: tHEYRE NOT EVEN SERIOUSLY BREAKING UP KYLO  
stressed ginger: GO BACK TO WATCHING UR YAOI

gin cursed: i'm fucking dead  
gin cursed: i open this chat to see "go back to watching ur yaoi"  
gin cursed: i love this chat sm

cinnabun: jyn wtf

space jesus: tbh this chat looks fuckin wild

sadme: lol. you would be right, fucko

space jesus: so what is this chat for??

reyofsunshine: it's pretty much only for the cool kids

space jesus: then why was jar jar binks in here..?  
space jesus: he makes me depressed

mechanic girl: i've been on the low i've been takin my tiiiiime

lukewarm: i fucking hate that song

sharpshooter: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

meesa jar jar binks has added himself to the chat

meesa jar jar binks: meesa feel like meesa outta me miiind

meesa jar jar binks has banned himself permanently from the chat for realsies.

hellothere: NANI THE FUCK


	13. a small discourse about love live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a very short chapter of a bad idea i had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i legit thought abt hux being one of those people who just jumped onto the love live bandwagon and stans aquors. this is such a bad idea.

yaoifan69: hey fuckos  
yaoifan69: i have some vital info

reyofsunshine: ok..?

yaoifan69: hux plays love live

reyofsunshine: i think everyone in this chat does

yaoifan69: but hux stans aquors

reyofsunshine: wHOA THERE  
reyofsunshine: I'L HAVE TO STOP YOU RIGHT THERE, BUDDY  
reyofsunshine: i like aquors. but muse will always be bae

yaoifan69: he has a whole team of chika's and i want to fucking die  
yaoifan69: i only like dia

mechanic girl: EXCUSE YOU.  
mechanic girl: I LOVE MY GIRL YOSHIKO  
mechanic girl: but it's pretty much impossible to stan aquors over muse

stressed ginger: i just don't like anybody from muse too much

reyofsunshine: so.. you're meaning to tell me you DON'T like rin..?

stressed ginger: yeah. she's too hyper for me  
stressed ginger: i used to like hanayo but now i don't

hoe: wtf  
hoe: it's LITERALLY impossible to fall out of love with pana  
hoe: AND HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE RIN

fn kms: what abt nozomi or kotori?

stressed ginger: thought they were bland..

silver slay: honoka??

stressed ginger: nope. she didn't feel like a good leader

yaoifan69 has removed stressed ginger from the chat

lukewarm: what'd i miss?  
lukewarm: and why did you remove hux??

yaoifan69 : bc he doesn't like muse and prefers aquors

lukewarm: but you shouldn't bash his opinion

yaoifan69: he doesn't like rin

lukewarm: THAT FUCKERRE

sharpshooter: luke, are you cheating on me with your fictional japanese girlfriend reen??

lukewarm: HAN. IT'A FUCKINNG "RIN"

cinnabun: lol someone's triggered

gin cursed: i can't believe hux fell out of love with pana

sadme: guys wtf are you even talking about..

hellothere: this is getting out of hand  
hellothere: it's literally just a japanese rhythm game..  
hellothere: anakin literally turned to the weeb side when he found out

sandh8ter: i'm a true connoisseur of anime waifus  
sandh8ter: i'm a nico kind of guy

hellothere: jesus christ, i'm getting wrinkles at 17

hellothere has added stressed ginger to the chat

stressed ginger: nvm guys. i'm into animal crossing now

yaoifan69 has removed stressed ginger from the chat

yaoifan69: s u f f e r


	14. the comeback to end all comebacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your waifu is trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M FUCKING BACK. i'm hella sorry for not posting for a thicc minute. i've been really busy with school and personal stuff so hopefully i'll get back to posting regularly!

yaoifan69 has changed their name to kylo vore

kylo vore: hey guys  
kylo vore: do you guys know what vore is

gin cursed: indeed i do, pal of mine

cinnabun: jyn wtf

gin cursed: leia, you've been with me for like, what.  
gin cursed: a few weeks  
gin cursed: you should know that i'm into that obscure shit

lukewarm: that makes me mildly concerned for leia

reyofsunshine: uh.  
reyofsunshine: what's vore

hellothere: it's a fetish for being eaten alive

sadme: that's basically the plot for attack on titan

hellothere: get your weaboo ass outta here, pad

sadme: well excuse me. i'm not the all-knowing vore maniac

hellothere: b i t ch  
hellothere: i only know that bc of anakin 

reyofsunshine: should i be concerned for anakin..?

lukewarm: i think we all get concerned for anakin at least 5 times a day

sadme: worrying over anakin is a rite of passage in this chat

hoe: i haven't worried about anakin until now..?  
hoe: am i still qualified to be in this chat..?

fn kms: yes, babe

hoe: oh thank god i can still be with my mans

silver slay: jesus christ this chat gets gayer and gayer

lukewarm: you called?

sharpshooter: nice one luke

reyofsunshine: is no one going to talk about how kylo brought up vore tho

mechanic girl: yeah. what's up with that fam?

kylo vore: it's my new favorite thing

sadme has left the chat

hellothere: you know you fucked up when pad leaves

hellothere has added sadme to the chat

sadme: why the fuck did you add me back  
sadme: i don't want to talk about vore

kylo vore: padme please

sadme: kylo no.  
sadme: your fantasies just can't be quenched

sandh8ter: pad. that meme's been dead for ten million years

sadme: shut the fuck up weaboo ass

hellothere: pad, you're the only one who watches anime

sadme: well ani's the one who watches vore

sandh8ter: eXCUSE YOU.  
sandh8ter: the sand vore videos calm my nerves

kylo vore: wtf  
kylo vore: that's not even real vore

cinnabun: someone please change the fucking topic.

gin cursed: fuck you leia. no

cinnabun: fuck you jyn. yes

gin cursed: but vore is hella funny babe

cinnabun: how is eating something fucking funny

gin cursed: bc in some videos peeps ger swallowed whole

cinnabun has left the chat

gin cursed: COME ON  
gin cursed: HOW IS THAT NOT FUCKING FUNNY TO YOU LEIA

gin cursed has added cinnabun

cinnabun: i want a fucking divorce

gin cursed: don't you mean...  
gin cursed: a diVOREce?

cinnabun: fucking fuck you jyn

stressed ginger: this is what you fucking caused kylo

kylo vore: hecc you hux

fn kms: ok but pad  
fn kms: you said you watch anime ??

sadme: occasionally

hellothere: occasionally my fucking ass  
hellothere: last night, she was crying over a volleyball anime

sadme: THERE'S NOTHING FUCKING WRONG ABOUT HAIKYUU  
sadme: I JUST WANT MY BABIES TO FUCKING WIN

mechanic girl: wait pad  
mechanic girl: have you watched kuroko no basket

sadme: girl. don't get me started.

mechanic girl: i'll start for you  
mechanic girl: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

sadme: ^ me whenever i watch sports anime

fn kms: oh.  
fn kms: i didn't know you were into sports anime  
fn kms: i was just going to ask you if you watched beyblade

sadme: what the fuck.

sandh8ter: beyblades are just over glorified tops.

fn kms: but the anime is so well animated! i love beyblade!

sadme: beyblade can suck my entire ass.

hoe: BEYBLADE!  
hoe: LET IT RIP!

sharpshooter: speaking OF anime.. have you guys ever watched boku no pico?

lukewarm has left the chat

cinnabun: you done fucked up

kylo vore: hey man. i just wanted to have a nice civilized conversation about vore and it turned into a weaboo discussion  
kylo vore: what kind of capitalist bullshit is this

stressed ginger: kylo.. you have a nico yazawa body pillow  
stressed ginger: you are the most weaboo person i know

kylo vore has changed their name to kylo kylo niii

stressed ginger: jesus fuck

space jesus: please do not use my name in vain

hellothere: what's good, qui

space jesus: nothing much, ig  
space jesus: but why are you all talking about anime..?

hellothere: idk. shit happens too fast around here

space jesus: oh  
space jesus: is it alright if i join the discussion?

sadme: sure, my man.

space jesus: alright so  
space jesus: first of all, kylo, nico is fucking trash. your waifu is absolute fucking trash. kotori will always reign supreme because birb girl is the ultimate waifu.

sadme: wtf  
sadme: i thought he'd be more of a hanayo guy..?

hellothere: please do remember that half of this chat are basically rin stans

space jesus: anakin, your waifu is also trash

sandh8ter: DOn'T YOU DAre CALL MIKU-SAMA TRASH

sadme: lol i though ani grew out of his vocaloid phase already

reyofsunshine: guys. this is a safe space  
reyofsunshine: waifu shaming is prohibited in this chat

mechanic girl: rey, your husbando is trash

reyofsunshine: MCFUCKING LEVI HEICHOU ISNT TRASH

hellothere: why does everyone watch anime in this fucking chat.


End file.
